What does the word ‘safe’ mean to you? What does it feel like? Do you notice when it is around? If you are like me, you may forget to appreciate safety until it is not there. In my line of work, I hear many complaints about feeling UN-safe. The person with PTSD feels unsafe because of the risk of repeated trauma. The person with anxiety feels unsafe because the worst could happen. The person with depression feels unsafe because of thoughts that death could be the only solution. The person with bipolar feels unsafe because they cannot rely on consistent mood and behavior.
In addition to mental dangers, the physical world has plenty of threats to our safety. Wars and political unrest have left most of us feeling unsettled if not paralyzed. Flipping through a book of quotes, I came upon this one from Sojourner Truth: “I feel safe in the midst of my enemies, for the truth is all powerful and will prevail.” Born into slavery, Sojourner was no stranger to trauma. How remarkable it is to feel safe even surrounded by problems and fears.
The trauma-focused therapy modality known as EMDR, incorporates a guided imagery exercise called “safe/calm place.” The client is asked to picture a place that comes to mind easily and that evokes feelings of peace or safety. When a client struggles to feel safe, such as after severe trauma, they are asked to find a place where they can feel calm.
Creating this safe place involves attention to the sensations and emotions that the client would feel in such a place. For example, for my first safe place, I pictured myself in Kensington Park in London—a place I had previously experienced peace. My therapist asked me to picture myself there. Picturing is not just visual. I was instructed to notice the sounds, sights, feelings, and smells of my place. I was also guided to attend to the emotions I experienced there and how I experienced the emotions in my body.
We all need a safe place. Your place may be a corner of a park or of a room in your home. It may be a place surrounded by people who enhance your feelings of safety. Your place may simply be a corner of your mind—a place you can experience anywhere and anytime.
Sometimes the dangers of life are out of our control. This is even more reason to create inner safety and peace. Sojourner Truth moved on from her trauma to spend her life fighting for freedom for herself and others. Her ability to find peace in the face of real danger gave her power. You can develop this power too. If we didn’t know what unsafe felt like, we would not need to seek safety. It is a difficult but beautiful struggle to create peace and safety in the midst of our dangers.
References:
Congdon, L. (2014). Whatever you are, be a good one: 100 inspirational quotations. Chronicle books LLC.
Michals, D. (2015). Sojourner truth. Retrieved from womenshistory.org/education-resources/biographies/sojourner-truth
Shapiro, F. (2001). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): Basic principles, protocols, and procedures. New York: Guilford Press.
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